And just like that...

Right now I am breaking the rules by having my phone in bed, writing this with an app while my newly turned ten year old is snuggling.
It is the first day of Summer break and he says he wants to sleep all day. His version of staying in bed includes me though. The clock reads 8:29 and the little voice says, "Please don't leave me Mommy." I am staying.
How did ten years fly by so very quickly? He is my last and I really need Father Time to slow down the clock and let it creep for awhile.

We needed to celebrate his birthday last Saturday and the thermometer on the back porch was telling us that the zoo was going to have to wait. He and I will ride the metro up a different day.



We ask if he would like to see a Lego store. As a non-neuro typical child we rarely take him places like gigantic malls. Filled with lots and lots of people, those buildings are really hard for him. He was thrilled, didn't have any trouble at all and it was so good. He was so intrigued by people and stores, everything was new and exciting. Things are getting better and better every day.



His birthday was filled with Lego and a delightful candy shop. We laughed and played in that gigantic shopping center. We had a grand time. Sometimes things are a little harder for this sweet boy of mine, but he is loving and kind and I think will surprise us all by how he changes the world.

Happy Birthday my sweet Thayne! May this next year hold many amazing new discoveries for you.

Transition

Last Friday, it was finally a perfect day for romping around at the park with our homeschooling group. Some delightful ladies from the local baby wearing group joined us with their rosy cheeked little ones all comfy close to their mommas. It was a happy scene.

I am now far from baby wearing as my 'little' one turns ten in a few weeks. Our older daughter will be having her first baby in November. Meanwhile the last month has been filled with shopping and preparations to launch my older son into the world to serve a mission for our church. It is a birth of sorts and just as painful a transition.

As we left the park, I looked wistfully at these moms in their youth. I don't know how to be okay with that season of my life being so long gone. I was so confident then in my opinions and beliefs. So very sure of myself and how I wanted life to be. Life has shown me that I really lack. That the more I acquire in knowledge, the more I realize that there is just so much more I will never have the time to learn. There are days when mortality smacks me in the face.

Today was the day when it was time to let my young man boldly go into his quest. The security personnel look through his bags and he quickly stretched around them to sign “I Love You” one last time. The next time I hug him will be in two years. I am so pleased at the man he has become despite my failings. Conflicting emotions are rocking my heart.

My baby boy is sad that his brother is gone, his sisters are realizing how quiet the house is without young man energy, and it might take more time than we thought to adjust to our new normal. I gave him all the roots I could and I pray his wings are strong.

So the baby wearing takes on a new form. No longer am I wrapping that sling around our bodies so we can be close. I am wrapping my heart and love energy around each one, hoping that all the strength from my love will carry them into adulthood well.

Going crazy

That is exactly how I feel right now. The boys are fighting, it is literally freezing cold outside on this last weekend of March, there are no buds or anything on any of the trees and I have reached my maxium capacity for dealing with anything. Michael is out of town AGAIN!

Good advice

QOTD: Thayne "I like friends who give good advice"

On keeping shoes laces tucked if they come undone.

Bliss

I wish I could capture the sounds and feelings I am experiencing right at this moment. The earth is literally singing. The sun is out and the Frost King is retreating.



There are birds warbling songs of delight and the squirrels are running about like they have waited for this day for so long. The crackling of the ice is celebrating the hope of Spring.



As the ice melts , it sounds as if I am in the middle of a rain forest. So much joy is echoing out from nature. I am literally in tears and awe at this symphony.



Geese just fanned out overhead honking in joy and the caw of the ravens is pure bliss. I am seeing the fattest robins ever. I wonder where they have been eating this winter.



I never want to forget this moment.

A Glimmer

My sweet giant of a little boy is slowly finding his way in this big world. I stroke his hair at night after I have sung his lullaby and wonder how he will create his path and stay afloat or if the seas will swallow him up.

Last week he had what we call a melt down. Quayde had taken him to cub scouts and somehow he had believed that I was coming to take him on a date afterwards. Thayne was devastated that he wasn't going to have a date. Quayde tried to explain that he had misunderstood and took him to get a sandwich. Thayne would have nothing of it and cried all the way home.

The next day, Thayne made a choice to play a computer game on his dad's computer. This game is not supposed to be played at home because it uses up all our bandwidth. He then was grounded. All in all, the week wasn't turning out so well for him.




Then this happened! All on his own he made himself a chart. He said he wanted to track what was going on with his feelings. The top was good days, then making bad choices, then feeling crazy inside, and then the last when he had a meltdown and why.

Thayne really doesn't have too many crazy days anymore now that we watch what he eats, and usually the meltdown times are when he is tired. Heck, I have meltdowns when I am tired. Just the fact that he did this on his own is so huge! Gives me insight that he will navigate through these rough waters of life just fine. It might just take us a little longer.



This is Thayne's jug of white vinegar with his name on it. The first thing he has written his name on all by himself. Huge, I tell you, huge! Loosen the sails. We are on our way.

Every day

Our days have been quite simple as of lately. We have seminary bright and early at 6am. Lydia and I make it home about 7:30. She eats breakfast and heads for a nap. Thayne awakes and I feed him and we start on his school work. After Lydia comes to again, we do our main lesson work or a country study. Thayne heads for a video game while I do math with Lydia.
We eat lunch late. Then they make art or create with Lego. Homeschooling with only two kids is a lot easier. I really am enjoying this year.

The first part of each year always seems to go slowly, perhaps because it is cold. I think I would like to never leave when the north wind blows. Snuggling down, wrapped in a blanket with a warm mug and a good book. Sounds delightful...yes?

So for now our days are simple..until Jack Frost heads home and the cherry blossoms bloom.