Last Friday, it was finally a perfect
day for romping around at the park with our homeschooling group. Some
delightful ladies from the local baby wearing group joined us with
their rosy cheeked little ones all comfy close to their mommas. It
was a happy scene.
I am now far from baby wearing as my
'little' one turns ten in a few weeks. Our older daughter will be
having her first baby in November. Meanwhile the last month has been
filled with shopping and preparations to launch my older son into the
world to serve a mission for our church. It is a birth of sorts and
just as painful a transition.
As we left the park, I looked wistfully
at these moms in their youth. I don't know how to be okay with that
season of my life being so long gone. I was so confident then in my
opinions and beliefs. So very sure of myself and how I wanted life to
be. Life has shown me that I really lack. That the more I acquire in
knowledge, the more I realize that there is just so much more I will
never have the time to learn. There are days when mortality smacks me
in the face.
Today was the day when it was time to
let my young man boldly go into his quest. The security personnel
look through his bags and he quickly stretched around them to sign “I
Love You” one last time. The next time I hug him will be in two
years. I am so pleased at the man he has become despite my failings.
Conflicting emotions are rocking my heart.
My baby boy is sad that his brother is
gone, his sisters are realizing how quiet the house is without young
man energy, and it might take more time than we thought to adjust to
our new normal. I gave him all the roots I could and I pray his wings
are strong.
So the baby wearing takes on a new
form. No longer am I wrapping that sling around our bodies so we can
be close. I am wrapping my heart and love energy around each one,
hoping that all the strength from my love will carry them into
adulthood well.
No comments:
Post a Comment